The Jewish Rapture
by crocious
Summary: Style oneshot. Rated "Smex" for content. Should not be viewed by chilluns.


**Hey, y'all! I had writer's block on my other story so I wrote this to help me. Mature content. Very trashy stuff. I like it **

"The weather is nice," remarked Stan Marsh to Kyle Broflovski. "I hope it stays like this."

Stan and Kyle were walking home from high school together and Stan was lying- he didn't give a shit about the weather.

Kyle grinned in the "Oh, you naughty little monkey" way that Stan found so endearing. "It's supposed to rain on Thursday," Kyle said, playing along with Stan. "That'll ruin your football practice."

Neither cared about football. Neither cared about rain. Stan and Kyle unconsciously hurried their steps to get to Stan's house, which both knew would be empty for three hours until Sharon and Randy came home from work.

They measured the other's eagerness and tried to match it in stride. Before long, they were running, racing to the door. Stan, the natural athlete and possessor of the key, reached the door first, and in one swift motion unlocked it. Kyle got to the porch and panted, his eyes burning with hunger and adrenaline.

Stan opened the door for Kyle like a gentleman and Kyle glared at him as he walked in.

Stan followed Kyle in and closed the door gently, trying to look calm in case any of his neighbors were watching, but his heart pounded a loud, crimson beat he swore the whole street could hear.

The second Stan closed the door, Kyle pinned him back up against it and kissed him hungrily. Stan responded with a greater urgency and, lips still locked tight against Kyle's, stripped his scarf and coat off, pressing against Kyle with every bare inch of skin he could. Kyle's smooth, soft lips moved over Stan's chapped ones with delight to allow his tongue, cool and nimble, to coax its way into Stan's mouth.

It took everything Stan had not to take Kyle right there on the floor. The red headed boy moved his chilly hands under Stan's shirt, caressing every muscle, stroking every curve and valley of his body. Kyle's hand lingered over Stan's heart, feeling the rapid th-thump th-thump magnified through his breastbone. Below Stan's stomach roared a familiar ache, and he felt himself grow hard.

Refusing to break the kiss, Stan pushed Kyle toward the stairwell. Kyle pulled him by his shirt with a savage urgency. No words were said- none were needed- but Stan interpreted this as a stern and desperate, "Off."

Kyle tripped backward in the stairs, pulling Stan on top of him. Kyle bucked his hips into Stan's, pressing their groins together. Stan moaned against Kyle and broke the kiss for a second to strip off his shirt. He came back down to suck on Kyle's neck, right where he knew Kyle was most sensitive.

Kyle gasped and whimpered. "What was that?" murmured Stan, chewing on Kyle's earlobe.

"S-Stan..." Kyle grew harder against Stan's leg and Stan nodded.

Stan got to his knees and pulled Kyle up. They kissed, this time light and quick, reassuring and playful. Kyle wrapped his legs around Stan's hips and his arms around his neck. Stan stood up slowly, carrying Kyle and stroking that beautiful butt of his. He carried Kyle up to his room, kicking the door shut behind them. He laid Kyle on the bed gingerly and braced himself above him. He moved his hand down the soft musculature under Kyle's T-shirt until he came to his jeans.

Stan rubbed Kyle's thighs until he moaned in pleasure. Then Stan's hand found its way onto the crotch of Kyle's pants.

Stan rubbed Kyle's crotch, letting the friction of the fabric work its way into his already impressive erection. Kyle gasped, his breathing becoming short and desperate. "Okay," he said, and Stan stood up.

Kyle pulled himself to a sitting position so he was eye level with Stan's navel. He fumbled with the button on Stan's jeans and loosed them to the floor, making his way to Stan's roaring, throbbing erection.

Stan shuddered when he felt Kyle's freakishly cold hands caress him. They grasped him with a life-or-death urgency and worked their way up and down Stan's penis, quick and hard. Stan smiled and played with Kyle's hair.

Kyle's lips caressed Stan's balls. He kissed them playfully, taking one into his mouth, then the other. Stan closed his eyes and moaned as all the blood in his body burned.

Kyle moved to Stan's penis, sucking the tip lightly and racing his tongue back and forth. He took Stan in deeper, closing his lips tightly around it and and bobbing his head. Stan felt himself getting close and stopped Kyle.

Kyle looked up at Stan and sucked his bellybutton seductively as he undid his own pants. Stan smiled and pulled Kyle up into a kiss. Sweet and salty at the same time, Stan explored Kyle's familiar mouth: the perfect teeth, the cheeks, scarred from when Kyle had braces, that brilliant, brilliant tongue that was always on the lookout for new things to try. Kyle explored Stan's mouth with equal gusto and suddenly threw him on the bed.

Stan lay against the pillows and pulled Kyle on top of him. Kyle straddled him and held both their cocks together with his hands. He stroked and pulled, closing his eyes in lavish pleasure. Stan murmured and rubbed Kyle's thighs.

Kyle stopped and reached down for his pants to grab a condom. Stan felt the familiar chill tickle as Kyle rolled it on him and grinned madly.

"Dude, you know you're the only one."

"I know that," Kyle said defensively. "It's just a little cleaner this way."

"Are you calling me a dirty boy?"

Kyle responded by guiding Stan's cock into his "pleasure hole" as Stan fondly referred to it. Straddling Stan cowgirl style, Kyle gasped with rapture.

Stan moaned as Kyle bounced on his lap, gasping with every thrust. His hands stroked Kyle's knees as he pumped harder and faster. Kyle grabbed Stan's hands and held on tight as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

"Oh, Stan..." It wasn't a whisper or a murmur. It was a shuddering, shaking, earth-shattering plea.

Stan grabbed Kyle's waist and rolled on top of him. Kyle let out an adorable "yeep!" and Stan grinned feverishly, pumping deeper and deeper into his best friend.

Kyle desperately looked for Stan's hands and clutched them. He bucked his hips against Stan and panted with every thrust. Stan, suddenly feral and hungry, bit into Kyle's shoulder, tasting blood.

"Stan!" cried Kyle as Stan's stomach became wet with cum.

Kyle's ecstasy did it. Two final thrusts and Stan felt that sweet, almost painful release. He pulled out slowly and tossed the spent condom into the trash by his bed.

Kyle panted and smiled sleepily up at Stan. Stan smiled back and stood up. He grabbed a shirt from his floor and pulled it on as per the drill. If they looked clothed, they could sleep together and not worry about exposure when their respective families came home. Because they had been sleeping in the same bed since they were young, no one thought it was strange to see them snuggled up together. As long as there were clothes.

Kyle moved over and lifted Stan's comforter. Stan crawled in and felt Kyle's legs intertwine with his own. Almost immediately, Kyle fell asleep against his chest, snoring softly. Stan blushed.

Oddly enough, Stan found he couldn't sleep. He looked down at Kyle's soft curly hair, his clear skin, his gently parted lips and he was again consumed with desire. Not the physical kind- he was spent- but the emotional kind. Save for in the context of friendship, Stan had never told Kyle he loved him. But now, Stan's heart quaked with the need to shake Kyle awake and tell him that he was not only Stan's best friend, lover, confidante and partner in crime, he was Stan's greatest fear, only love, his heart and his soul, his past and his future. He wanted to talk about getting old with Kyle, having a dog, maybe. He wanted to talk about graduation and what that meant with Kyle going all the way across the country to Yale. He wanted Kyle, now and forever, and he wanted to hear Kyle say he wanted to stay with him.

Kyle fidgeted in his sleep and screwed his eyebrows together. Stan looked down and smiled.

Maybe tomorrow.

**Kids, the moral of the story is ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!**


End file.
